>Down on PawPaw’s Farm

>Today I will lead you on a tour of PawPaw Clements’ farm.  This is where we are currently residing.  I hope by the end of this you will not judge me too harshly.  For my environmentalist friends I have a stern warning:  This is not for the faint of heart.  If a trashy beach made the Indian cry, this will make him tear off his garments and shave his head.  Now that we have settled that, let us brave folks move forward.  Let the healing begin.

This is the house.  Well, it’s the part I find amazing.  This chimney is HUGE.  Jon’s dad did all rock work on the house.  This picture does not convey the cute country charm.  Jon had to patch up the wide open holes on the side of the house with what we had available during the snow storm.  Hence, the metal, towels and bricks.  I forgot to snap a picture of the house, so I used this one.  It’s also the only angle that doesn’t show all of our crap that’s still on the porch.

This is building number one.  It doesn’t have a name.  “You know the little cement block building that’s full of canned goods”  That’s what we call it.  Boy, is it full of canned goods.  Why are they called canned goods when it’s all in jars?  Hmmmmm.

This is the dinner bell.  At least I think it is.  It may have been the bell that called the cows home, I don’t know.  The string is our effort to work the post back up to a straight position.  Not working.  I want to have it sandblasted and restore it to its former glory.  Okay-I just want to ring it at dinner time, I confess.

This is shed number one.  Cars and trucks are supposed to go in here, but it is full of junk.  Crazy junk.

Like this….

….and this.  That is just a glimpse of what fills every corner of the shed.  Not kid friendly.  Not pet friendly.  We’ll get to the pet friendly part next.

Oh!  Here is where Fatman went!!  Play horsie on this big ‘un and you might get an unexpected trip to the moon!

This is the Honey House.  This could easily be converted into a small home.  It is the most efficiently built item on the farm.  PawPaw kept bees. This was the newest building to house all the jars of honey.  Currently it houses lots of junk, canned food, pool tables, furniture that no longer fits in the house, and rats.  Lots of rats.  (The former owner’s did not believe in owning cats.  But they were okay with living with rats, and rat poo.)  I would take you in there for a tour, but the last time I went in there, there was a near tragedy.  This is the pet friendly area I was talking about. Sarcasm intended.  I went in to look through the wood scraps for some crown moulding.  My dog Sampson followed me in and promptly ate rat poison.  Yeah, I steer clear of the Honey House now.  It’s no sweet thing to me.

You can see next to the Honey House is the black walnut orchard.  I love orchards.  I’m an orchard girl!!!!

This is shed number two.  I have no idea what it’s official title is.  Lawnmower Shed seems the most logical choice, since there is a Dixie Chopper in there.

 But what about this?

Or this???  Bad Fuel?  If it’s bad-why is it here?????


How bout starting a jug band?  I got the jug…oh never mind.

Up next?  The Chicken Coop.  At one time this had actual chickens in it.  Now it has bee keeping supplies, mattress springs, briefcases, and

Grandma’s clothes? More canned goods? 

A TV?  Maybe the person who drank the crate of booze broke it.  Sad face.

Moving on…

This bee-yoot is the former honey house.  Honey Trailer? Now it just sits here for effect and mood.  Jon says his dad was inside it once when a tornado hit. Sounds fun.
In the corner of the shot is my hubands broke down Cadillac.  You might be a redneck if you find a Cadillac on your farm.  Along with several trucks stashed about. 

Here is shed number three.  This one is ready to come down in my humble opinion.  Poor thing.

But if you need some Bananex, Shed Three is THE place to go.

Or Super #3000…

I have no idea.

This is the Pump House.  Next to it is another trailer full of bee keeping supplies.  The pump house holds the only hose that I have seen on the property.  It’s no fun to go trekkin to the pump house to wash a paint brush.  No fun.

Off yonder…(tee hee) is the Hog House.  No hogs have been harmed here for a long time.  Like the other buildings, it’s packed with beekeeping stuff.

No horses have been in this pig for awhile either.

Interior shot of the long Chicken House.  Guess what???  No frickin chickin!!!  It’s full of scrap wood.  PawPaw was a woodcutter.  Cap’n…. There be wood here!  Oh and another truck!

Holy Moly!!!

A grain silo used to stand in this very spot.  No one can tell me what happened to it and why it was replaced with this work of art.  I went around this thing four times before I found a door.  (Its a piece of the metal with a latch.)  When opened I found bodies hanging in it with mystical writing on the walls.  I kid, I kid.  It had more bee stuff.  Top to bottom: and it almost made the door almost impossible to open.

Here is what happens to stuff that has no place in a shed, or building. It gets burned.  I keep telling Jon to fish out the heavy bag.  This does explain the mattress springs that are propped up in the Chicken Coop.  Really?  They keep em after they burn em?  For what???

Now that I have brought the ugly out into the light, I can’t help but leave you with a little beauty.  Sure it’s rough and dangerous, but it’s also peaceful….

…and shiny.

One response

  1. >OH MY LORD!!! Liz this made me laugh so hard. OK I'm so thankful that someone else is just like my dad. My dad was a pack rat, would keep everything, my mom hated it. I would LOVE to go through all that stuff and find the treasures, EXCEPT for the rats, I just could not even go near any of it. It sounds like you are happy and content there though. 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

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