Putting it out there to be done with it.

I wanted to title this blog “Pukefest” or “Uggggggh”.  I didn’t. Now let me make myself perfectly CLEEEEUH, I am not writing this to change opinions.  I am going to write about what I have encountered the last three days and then in closing offer my own humble opinion.  Then I wanna be done.  That won’t happen.  But, hey, a gal can dream right?

I am VERY ashamed to admit that of the few times I have been on Twitter since discovering it, I have been sucked into the vortex of the #prolife #prochoice quagmire. I am tired of my gut aching and my head splitting over it.  I am sure my pro choice counterparts experience a lot of the same reactions. It’s nauseating and from what I have experienced a total waste of time.  You can’t hide behind a keyboard and tell someone how they oughta feel.  I will admit, I have not been able to stick to the “I’s” that should be used when stressing a point.  I find it easy to slip into the “You’s”.  “You need to open a science book.” “You need to do research” “You need to go fly the proverbial kite”  Good Lord, it’s so easy.  The proper way would be to say “I understand your opinion but in my research I have discovered..x,y, and z” IMHO(in my humble opinion-for my momma) that is a much more effective way to communicate and may actually send the person on a hunt for research as well. Too bad I am much more diplomatic here than on Twitter.

So far, there are four types of people who I encounter in the battle.

Suzi SoWhat-Suzi is the laid back pro choice advocate. If you choose to carry the fetus to term or to abort it, it’s none of her business.  Just please, pretty please, don’t tell her abortion is wrong. She doesn’t want proof that the baby is human, or that abortion might be murder.  She only gets angry when pro lifers try to change laws and  threaten her right to choose.  Suzi is usually quite easy to have a conversation with. And more often than not, she is personally against abortion, but for a womans right to choose. Unfortunately, I rarely encounter Suzi.

Arleta Atheist-Ironically Arleta is the jihadist of the pro choice movement.  She doesn’t care about pictures of aborted babies.  She has a litany that spews that is reminiscent of a cult-like fervor.  The baby is NOT human.  It is a parasite, like a tumor.  A blob.  It is an invader that is unwelcome. Arleta believes that pregnancy puts her life in danger and the growing fetus is just that, a “fetus”.   Arleta also throws her hands up at any religious, or eugenics arguments.  Those are all lies and propaganda. Arleta demands that during her pregnancy the OB refer to the fetus as “the fetus”.  Until birth, Arleta thinks a fetus should never be referred to as “the baby”. Arleta believes that all pro lifers ignore science and that they cling to religious delusions.She also has a tendency to let her side of the conversation devolve into name calling and personal attacks.

(edit!!! I just got a response from one of my Arleta’s. She said she talked to her baby and played music for him. So there are subtle differences in each group!)

Cathy Conversation-Cathy is a staunch pro lifer.  Her belief may have stemmed from her faith, or from science.  She chooses to look at pregnancy and childbirth as a natural thing the body does.Cathy believes that the rights of humans should be protected no matter what stage of development they are in. Cathy wants to open a dialogue between the two sides and is armed with knowledge.  Cathy does not interject faith into the conversation unless directly asked what she believes.

Rhonda Religion-Bless Rhonda’s heart, she just wants everyone to know that the Lord loves them. Rhonda’s stance on the pro life movement is FIRMLY rooted in her faith.  God created life.  Children are a miracle from God. Like Arleta, Rhonda can sometimes be baited into responding with clichés or righteous anger. There is no gray area for Rhonda.  Life begins at conception.  Plain and simple.  Rhonda mainly uses scripture to back up her position, but she is not opposed to using science either.  But let’s make it very clear, Rhonda’s motivation is from a place of faith, not hate.

And then there is me.  Just like there is you, gentle reader.  Internally, I tend to feel like Rhonda.  Yes, I do want everyone to know the Lord loves them. But I also know that when dealing with others who do not share my faith, I can’t appeal to their logic with my faith.  I have to relate to them on their level.  So outwardly, I am more like Cathy.

Here is a brief run down on why I am pro life.

During my teens I was truly Suzi SoWhat. I was so whatever about abortion.  I knew that I would never have one. but I believed that the option needed to be there for the women who needed one.  That belief held until I was 19 and pregnant with my son Jacob.  After being ditched by his dad, I kept my sanity by going back to college.  I started with some night classes at the local community college. I took two classes in the evening (I was throwing up all day).  I don’t remember what one of the classes was, but I do remember that the other was Human sexuality.  It was a fun, lighthearted class.  It held my attention. 🙂 Then we came to the section about reproduction.  One day we had a lady from Planned Parenthood come in, on another day a lady from the local Crisis Pregnancy Center came in. (This was the Center I had to go to get a positive pregnancy test to qualify for emergency medical care from the great State of California.)  The same lady who had counseled me was the one who talked to my class.  I was 5 & 1/2 months pregnant.

The gal rolled in a tv stand with VCR into the classroom.  She spoke a little bit about abortion statistics and I was shocked.  She was the first person who told me that a woman could have a late term abortion up to the onset of labor.  That was the first time I ever heard that anyone could abort a baby after the 8 week mark of gestation.  I was floored. She went on to say that an emergency late term abortion could be obtained on the basis of certain medical, social, psychological or economical parameters being met. Economical?  So I could say I was too poor to have a baby at 38 weeks gestation? WTHeck? I could not believe what I was hearing. Then she showed us a movie that lasted about 30 minutes.  It was awful.  It showed the bodies of aborted babies, burned, dismembered.  I wanted to run out. I put my hand on my belly and just let tears run down my face as quietly as I could.  I had to look away to not have a break down.  Doctors were taking the babies body parts and tossing the heads into jars of formaldehyde and dangling tiny arms from syringes.  (Pro Choice has informed me that this is all Hollywood Special Effects. In 1993.) When it was over, I walked out and went to the bathroom and collapsed in the stall crying. Why had no one ever told me this before?

From that hour, I was Pro Life and I have never looked back.

For those who are looking for a non religious pro life group, I invite you to check out www.godlessprolifers.org.  They use pure science and logic. You can be a feminist and pro life.  Check out www.feministsforlife.orgwww.plagal.org is also another group that is left leaning and pro life. Also for medical professionals http://www.aaplog.org/

For a complete picture of my arguments against pro choice see this site http://lifestrategies.thingseternal.com/topics/abortion/prochoice-arguments.html

Please feel free to share with me how you came to your own personal decision to choose life or choice.  Please don’t put in the obligatory clichés of “keep your rosary out of my ovaries” and other such nonsense.  I want pure conversation, not conversion. Its time women started LISTENING to each other. Keep the spouting and shouting for the protest outing.

Thank you for reading my full blog and checking out the links before commenting.


3 responses

  1. In her case it was not a legality issue. It was an issue of the prominent docs in town not wanting to be ostracized for doing it. There was a group of OB’s who were doing abortions for patients in the 70’s/80’s. Still practicing now. Their children were being threatened at school. They were being threatened at work. So they stopped. Because they feared their lives. They would only do it if the baby had no heartbeat, which it did. There are extremists who are scary. That was the bottom line. Because she didn’t want to wait a week until another doc would be available she chose to leave town.

  2. Thank you. The points you made are good ones. I too think that more education is necessary. The friend who had to go through the procedure to end her pregnancy is one of the scenarios that leaves me scratching my head. Why would they not end the mental anguish of the woman, when her child had no way of surviving that condition? She would not have even had the hope of her baby knowing her for the few minutes before it died. That is why both sides need to drop the finger pointing and hatred. Sometimes, woman to woman, we need to HEAR eachother. I am not a religious, misogynist, bigot. I am a person and I have a story.

  3. I’m not about to try to debate you about abortion because I’m not that kinda gal. I don’t like to fight about things that are so personal. And I just don’t feel like I need to be in everyone’s face about it. But I am pro choice. And I like people who aren’t.

    That being said, let me say this. I don’t think anyone *likes* abortion. I mean it’s not good no matter what angle you view it from. There’s mom and those issues and there’s the baby and those issues. Was there one thing that made me this way? No. Would i have an abortion? No. Has my mom had more than I can count? Yes. Could I have been one of those? Yes. I was not. But if my mom had given birth to the 5 or more other babies. I shudder to consider it. Shudder. Truly. Because she never would have given them up for adoption. She would have raised them. And then they’d be like me. And no one should have to endure that.

    So i don’t LIKE it….

    BUT, I will not take that right from women. I cannot. Because I know what women will try to do because of shame, self-loathing and fear. And that’s as bad or worse than the alternative. I don’t think women should have to do that. And I don’t think once the baby is viable they should be able to, but every once in a great while there is a situation where mom’s life is at risk. Then what? Who gets to make that choice.

    I have a good friend. She was pregnant with an anacephalic child (no contents in the skull). She found this out early on. She wanted to terminate the pregnancy. She did not want to give birth to a child that wouldn’t live. No ONE (OB) would do it for her above board. She had to go to the Bay or go to PP because it was a beating heart. Yes. It was a living fetus. No. It would not have lived without her. She terminated. Does she feel bad about it? Probably not. Should she? Not my place to say.

    So is it good? Well no. But do I want to take the right away. No.

    When it comes down to it, I wish we could spend our money educating people so this didn’t have to happen at all.

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