The One Where I Blow Up About Nativity Naysayers

I am breaking my silence to address an issue that, quite frankly, I am sick of hearing about.  All opinions are mine.  I will not be quoting scripture to back up any points made in this rant. Mostly because I fear a lightning bolt would be applied squarely to my backside.  I am in full brat mode and wholeheartedly admit it.

Every.  Stinking.  Time.  I turn on the news I have to hear about a nativity battle.  Have we lost our minds people?  I mean, really?  Have we?  Last time I checked, Christmas was indeed centered around JESUS CHRIST.  Membah him?  Baby in the manger?  That guy?  Clever marketing may have muddled the missive, but the message as delivered in most miraculous merriment is this:  God came down and dwelt among us.

Believe me, I understand the argument directed at nativities from both angles.  What I don’t understand is the comments following said articles.  I read more about pink unicorns and sky fairies in comments from atheists than I would see on an episode of My Little Pony.  Golf claps for brutality.  Seriously.

I am not going to waste my time witnessing to all the humble atheists who simply want to guide people out of the tomfoolery of religion.  Pah!  I would just ask that they grow a giant pair of balls and not participate in Christmas at all.  It’s shameful and most hypocritical.  Along with them I would throw in all the seculars who teach their tots about Santa and the Easter Bunny, or better yet, drag them to two church services a year.  Quit it.  Stop.

Dear Angry Comment  Atheist,  I appreciate your right to harbor a seething hatred of my faith.  That makes you a real American.  You are more in line with what our founding fathers had in mind.  You deserve a coupon for not indoctrinating your children.  SARCASM ALERT!  Don’t give me the bull that you are not indoctrinating your children.  Don’t stand in front of me and tell me that you expose your children to all religions and let them choose.  Oh.  Brother.  No you do not.  You know why?  You’re human.  Believe me.  I know humans.

There is NO way that you are exposing your kids to all religions.  History, fundamentals, precepts,  ceremony, customs, beliefs?  Oh really, you are?   So what happens when little Rocky decides he wants to join one of the big three?  I would bet that when you and hubby cry about it at night, you would console each other in the fact that at LEAST he didn’t want to be a Baptist preacher.

The thing is, you like having the day off.  Hypocrite.  You buy the gifts.  Hypocrite.  What a confusing message for the atheist of the future.  I would respect you more for shunning  it.  When your kids ask about why there is a Christmas, the truthful atheist must answer.  I imagine it goes something like this:

“Mom, why do we celebrate Christmas?”

“Well honey, ORIGINALLY, it was to celebrate the birth of Christ.  It was a Christian thing, but they stole it from other religions.”

“Who was Christ?”

“Oh he was just a mythological guy who thought he was god. ”

“But we don’t believe in god.”

“That’s right.  We don’t.”

“So why celebrate it at all?”

“Well, nowadays its more of a tradition.  It’s good to remember to give to one another.  The Christ part really doesn’t mean much anymore.”


Wow, that package was as neatly wrapped as a Christmas present.  How convenient.  What an awesome explanation.  Make sure you update your twitter status by blessing all of your followers and their many religions.  Hypocrite.

P.S.  I know there are exceptions to every rule.  To those I say Bravo.  But if you are angry and commenting I leave you with one final word.  Hypocrite.