Ever have one of those ridiculous diva moments? Ever want to just sit around and watch youtube videos that make zero sense? How about getting a case of the giggles that contorts your face into such a frightening grimace that it scares your children? Never? Hmmm.
I guess I am coming down from some sort of knitpocalypse. The crash that comes after finishing a brutal project. My mind says, “But you have more projects to do, you have more projects to do!!!!!” My back says, “Please, for the love of mayonnaise, move your butt from this spot on the couch!” I want to go outside. I want to put my feet in some water somewhere and not worry about sharks, jellyfish, or elections. I don’t want to wear a sweater! I want to let it all hang out on a beach. If someone stares at my fat rolls, who cares???? At least I am living!
Sometimes when I am on Facebook, I want to launch into a tirade of curse words and offensive statements. I mean REALLY offensive statements. Just so I could giggle until I turn purple and then see how many people block me. Kinda like the line in the movie Arthur (with Dudley Moore thank you very much) where he says “Sometimes, I just think funny things.” I’m not crazy, I just miss the funny side of me. I take that back, I don’t miss it. Sometimes it wants to rear its ugly head. Oh yeah, it’s obnoxiously ugly. If I got paid to be a troll, I would have to think long and hard about it. I used to troll chat rooms. I wouldn’t try to pick fights, necessarily. I just would pop in and type things in all caps, sit back and wait.
I’m a jerk, I guess.