Why I NEVER Wash New Clothes Before Wearing Them. (Except Underwear…and Bathing Suits.)

 

(Certainly NOT me.)

Yeah, yeah, I KNOW what you are going to say.  Gross!!  The chemicals, the possible DNA from STRANGERS!  I beg you, please hear me out.

I rarely get new clothes.  I wasn’t always this fashonically challenged, I used to have quite the healthy, full closet.  I was the friend who dumped all her clothes on you and said “I hardly wear any of this stuff anymore, want it?”  Over time my wardrobe has shriveled.  There are various reasons.  I don’t want to buy “fat” clothes.  I don’t have the money.  I don’t have the time to shop.  I can’t find anything I like, because I am fat.  Those things.  Lord knows, I would do ANYTHING to be thin, except eat right and exercise. The clothes I do have are stained, bleached, ill fitting, and embarrassing.

When I do get something new I have to wear it right away.  I have to go many places and show people that I am ACTUALLY wearing something new.  Why?  Pride?  Insolence? Nope.   I do it because the odds are giant that it will get ruined the first time I wash it or wear it.  My husband says I am cursed.  At least 50 times during our marriage I have put a shirt that I have worn once in the laundry and it comes out with a bleach mark, or crayon smudge that will never. come. out.  Or I will be wearing the outfit for a special occasion and will go do a quick spot clean in the bathroom or kitchen, whoops!, and bleach.  (I have an apron, but it doesn’t help if I forget to wear it.)  There have been more times than I care to mention that my whitening toothpaste has ruined a shirt, pants, or sweater.  It’s drives me absolutely mad.  I have cried over it, but bleach doesn’t care about my tears.

If you see me, and my pants have creases or fuzz from stickers, take a picture.  Cuz, like Bigfoot trudging through the forest, some things gotta be seen to be believed  Lizzie bear in new clothes is one of them.

Advertisements

Funnel Cloud Friday

Yikes!  We’ve had a rash of Tornadoes here!  That’s not good for a lady with a nervous condition.  I was blessed by my Creator, who loves me and knows me like the back of His Hand, with peaceful, restful sleep.  Yep, I slept right on through the sirens and everathang.

That’s not to say I wasn’t pretty worried before I drifted off.  Growing up I heard stories about what a tornado sounds like.  (When they come at NIGHT, you can’t exactly LOOK for the OBVIOUS.)  By the way, I am so very thankful for all the grown ups who were in my life who told this scaredy cat about every frightening sound, disaster, and futuristic prediction that has ever come down the pike.  (My mom watched stuff about Nostradamus and Asteroids with me!!!)

Here is my inner dialogue during a windy night in Alabama.

“Okay, I think a tornado sounds like a train going by.  That’s what several people have told me.”

“Now, that sounds like a train.  Should it be like a fast train, or a slow meandering train?”

“Maybe the train story comes from the funnel cloud making the sound of a train whistle!”

“Okay, that sounds like a really close train.  Should I put the kids in the fireplace (NOT LIT) and cover them with a mattress?”

“Is the shower a better option?  Someone said hide in a tub with a mattress, but we have a SHOWER!.  Maybe I can put the kids in the shower if the sirens go off.”

“What if the roof comes off, and the kids are in the fireplace and that knocks some of the chimney rocks onto their heads?”

“That definitely sounds train-ish!!!!”

You see my line of crazy?  I just gave up and went to bed.

This morning I got up and read about all the tornado trauma.  I am so glad I slept through it all.  There’s only so long that I want to talk to myself about the wind.

While cleaning up my bedroom ( I blame the tornado for the mess) I found where my husband got his eyebrows.

Paul Clements aka Pawpaw

LOL!  I found the photo underneath the dresser.  I put it back together in its frame and lovingly placed it where it would not stare at me.  (It’s rather large, and very imposing.)

I also came across a picture of these two kids.

Jon and Liz-Gettin Hitched

That brings back some memories.

Suddenly surprised that the room was clean, I decided to snap a picture.  The last post I did about the house did not include a shot of our bedroom.

ta-dah!

My room is the meeting place for every dresser in the house.  The wardrobe leads the meeting in the corner and the others wrap their way around to the door.  Each one has a home, I just haven’t moved them yet.

Enjoy your Funnel Free ( I hope ) Friday,

Stay safe and God bless…

lizzie

Theoretical Thursday

Today I am going to do preschool with the kids.  Should I be successful, I will then take them outside to play.  Barring no unforeseen emergencies, I plan on doing laundry, cleaning the bathroom, and doing dishes.  After avoiding several emotional land mines I hope to prepare a wonderful meal, do more dishes, bathe and shine the children, tuck them in, then fall into bed.  Unless there be a wily page that gives me a paper cut, I will read 5 lines of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest, and pass out.

There's A Message Here...I Just Know it!

 

Good luck to you all, and God bless

lizzie