Fyffe UFO Daze: What Just Happened Here?

I Came To Party

Maybe I missed something.  Maybe I missed the true meaning of UFO, because this party was dull.  I imagined families getting into the UFO spirit and dressing up.  Children flocking to the face painting booth to be made up like little green men.  T shirt stands that sold novelty shirts that looked like Star Trek uniforms or had sayings like “Never Trust A Klingon”.  I envisioned a giant UFO bounce house, concession stands with alien concoctions and out of this world fare.  A band would play songs that were reminiscent of alien tunes.  Synthesizers, beeping and the occasional selection from 2001: A Space Odyssey or Star Wars.  Heck I would have taken an obnoxious out of towner in an Alf costume!

Supposedly the area was hit with a rash of actual UFO sightings and cattle mutilations.  So, one would think there would be a “traveling wall”  that chronicled the sightings.  And maybe, just maybe some of the old farts who witnessed said UFO activity could stand around and tell us eager nerds some saucerific yarns. An alien fun house.  Something.   But neeeeeeeeooooo!

What we got was flea market lite.  Vendors sold purses, BIRD HOUSES, and hematite necklaces.  The bands played spirituals and hymns.  (I LOVE spirituals and hymns, but not in relation to UFO’s.)  The food was typical and expensive with nothing exciting in sight. (No deep fried Oreo’s: the epitome of alien food.)  We got shaved ice and lemonade from a very nice couple.  Friendliness was definitely not in short supply.  That wasn’t my issue.  I asked Jacob several times where the aliens were?  We were perplexed.

The bounce houses were giraffes, the prizes at the game booths were clown fish and cowgirl hats.  Oh, and to the vendor with the STUPID-“Put on your big girl panties…” shirts, please burn the shirts.  No one wants that airbrush junk.

Maybe we went to early, but we were there long enough to be very disappointed.  Fyffe UFO Days could be something AMAZING.  For now its just an Unfortunate Forgettable Opinicus.

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A Space Oddity.

I thought I was a HUGE sci fi fan, until the other night.  There was a double feature on Dish showing 2001: A Space Odyssey and then 2010.  I realized that I hadn’t seen 2001 in many, many years, so why not make a little memory and watch it with my teenage sci fi doppelgänger?  About 30 minutes into the monkeys, I began to hit the info button.  Was this the right movie?  Maybe DISH accidentally played  “A Quest for Fire.”  No.  I had the right movie.  I just did not remember that much monkey stuff in the film.  Clearly, I was confusing it with all the parody scenes I had seen in other films.  Jacob became irritated and asked if the whole movie was about angry gorillas.  I assured him that it not only would get better, it. would. get. awesome.

Hmmm.  My husband joined us shortly, enticed by the extremely loud music and uber soft dialogue.  We took turns diving for the stereo, turning it down when the score began to blast.  Periodically, I would catch them staring at me in total confusion.  Again, I told them to be patient.  About the time the second monolith appeared, the natives were pretty restless.  They quieted when HAL 9000 came into the picture.   This section of the film was the only part I truly remembered sitting through.  Just as the movie got interesting it launched into some sort of epic acid trip that ended with a poorly decorated hell, Purgatory, alien jail cell sequence.  Jacobs eyebrows had slowly climbed up his forehead and were now in his hairline.  He muttered, “What the heck?” several times.  Then it ended with the baby in the amniotic sac staring at me.  Condemning me for all that is wrong with the world.

Jacob and I talked about the movie, both totally confused about what we had just seen.  I told him that George Lucas and all the greats looked to this movie for sci fi movie inspiration.  He said “So what, this is the Latin of science fiction?”  Perfect.

>Yup…I’m A Nerd…Carry On.

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Starman came out in 1984.  (What??????) It was probably 1986 before I saw if for the first time.  (Remember when it took for-ev-er for a movie to come on HBO?)  That would put me around eleven or twelve.  I remember watching it with my mom.  She giggled at Jeff Bridges and his strange mannerisms.  During the trailer love seen she laughed especially hard at the way he kissed.  Awkward!

For those who have not seen Starman here is a brief synopsis:

An alien life form comes to earth to observe humans.  It takes the form of a still grieving widow’s husband.  After her initial freak out.  He requests that she drive him from the Big Woods of Wisconsin to Winslow, Arizona.  Along the way, they are chased down by nerdy government officials, eat dutch apple pie, blow stoplights, and make a baby.  It’s fantastic.  In the end (SPOILER ALERT!) he is rescued by his people at the bottom of a crater.  (Who knew they moonlighted as landing pads?)

 

Nerdy Government Official

Jon and I got married in 2000.  (What????)  Our first trip across country went right by this crater.  Boldly known as Meteor Crater.  We tried to stop then, but it was closed, or we had no money, or we were fighting.  I don’t remember.  I pouted.  I always pout when I feel like I AM NEVER GOING TO GET THE OPPORTUNITY AGAIN!  (insert foot stamping here).

Luck be a lady, I DID get another opportunity!  In the midst of the downward spiral of the trip, Jon took a detour, and showed me a giant hole in the ground.  Boy, I love that guy.  The only reason he did it was for love.  He knows that I am a giant sci-fi nerd.  I am not at Convention level, I don’t have enough team members under me, but I am pretty out there.

And here we are!

Everything was so bright white.  The sun done bleached out everathang!.

 

Look Gideon!

There was a grill down at the bottom.  It took away from my experience a little.  I wanted to see this:

Sigh.

Jacob is trying to see allllll the way back to Washington.

There are few places you can go without mention of Alabama.

Or Russia.

That was our lovely detour.  Should you decide to watch Starman, please oh please do not watch the ill-conceived television show starring Robert Hays.  Look for Jeff Bridges and Karen Allen. Only watch Robert Hays in Airplane.  Anything else will damage you psychologically.