Oil Pulling. Yuck.

Woah.  Just woah.


I have mouth issues.  My tonsils get rocks in them.  I have caves in my tonsils where rock building creatures live.  It’s gross.  Pairing that with the bumps on my head, I am one step away from being the Sea Hag from Popeye.  Ewwwwwww!

In an effort to try to find a healthy balance of mouth bacteria I searched the internets for ideas.  I stumbled across some posts about oil pulling.  The list of benefits was long and luxurious, so I tried it.

I took a tablespoon of sunflower oil and put it in my mouth.   I swished and swished and swished.  Each post I read agreed that the time of swishing should be about 20 minutes.  I made it the first time about five minutes.  The oil mixed with my saliva forming some sort of bubbly grease blob in my mouth.  I fought the urge to vomit.  I fought the urge to spit.  I fought the urge to slap myself.  (ANOTHER blog induced suggestion had sucked me in!)  I ran to the bathroom and spit out the mess.  I rinsed my mouth out with water about 50 times and contemplated my next move.  Give up?  Try again?   I tried again and set the kitchen timer.   I washed dishes.  I mentally sang songs.  I told myself it wasn’t so bad.  I tried to keep the oil from touching my tongue too much.  I swished gently.  My face began to tremble.  My stomach turned.

When I had one minute left, Levi pooped his pants.  Oh sweet excuse!  I closed my eyes and spit out the mess again.  Seeing it would have ensured my throwing up.  I rinsed it down the drain and swished with water again.  After cleaning up Levi, I went to brush my teeth and get the last bit of oil out of my mouth.  I brushed, then smiled.  My gums were healthy pink, but my teeth were GLEAMING!  What the….?  Wow.

Still, not worth it.  Nope.  Gross.

Well, maybe I COULD try it again, you know, before I have to go somewhere fancy and I need ultra bright teeth.

I won’t post any links for oil pulling.  Google it.  Try it.  Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.  It’s a very slimy sensation and holding it in the mouth for 20 minutes is really hard.  Blech.


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