I haven’t written about my husband and his struggle with addiction for a couple of months, so I figured it was time for an update. Yay! Updates! Well, the progress report is very good. When I last wrote about him, really, I was pulling my hair out and ready to move back to California. I was soooooo ready. I was also kicking myself for not having some sort of financial back up that would let me leave at a moments notice. So that was then.
The church stepped in and took Jon under its wing. I had so much support from the ladies. The pastor and his wife met with us several times, then the pastor put Jon in his back pocket for a few weeks and got down to the nitty gritty with him. He took the time to lay out what alcoholism was doing to Jon spiritually, the danger it was putting him in. Not just physical danger, but eternal danger. The pastor charged Jon with getting into God’s word every day, listening to Christian music, and reading Christian authors. Basically, he wanted Jon to wash his spirit clean. This may all sound hokey to you, but so far, it’s working. The changes are amazing to see.
My impatient, stressed out husband has become more understanding and tries to not sweat the small stuff. I am NOT saying he is perfect and is Mr. WON-der-FUL. He still sweats a lot of small things. He still can get snappy. ( I do too.) But, overall, he speaks differently. He carries himself differently. His eyes and smile are different. There is change. He is bearing fruit! It’s such a difference from before. No more trying to desperately patch things up. No more wrestling furiously to keep the alcohol monster at bay. The attitude that life is unfair and doesn’t make him “happy” is dwindling. I love it.
The Bible reading, and prayer have been number one in his healing process. I would have to say a very close number two in the process is our church. Every week we are recharged with such amazing messages of hope. We don’t HAVE to live the American dream. We can throw off those shackles! We were not put here to serve ourselves, but God and others! We have the HOPE of eternity! We have a calling on our lives that makes us different. We have the responsibility to be a light that shines for people, and draw them near to God.
I don’t know about you, but when I look at the world through the eyes of God, and His plan, my own selfish desires become trivial. I know that same force is at work in Jon. He can’t drink, feel sorry for himself, and then have the joy of the Lord. He is learning, and succeeding, so far, at letting himself go, and letting God work. So, I am glad that God has been working behind the scenes. I’m glad that I did not take off with my kids and a wad of cash. I’m thankful for God’s love…even if Jon stumbles again…even if the world says I am bonkers…even if the stars fall on my head.